I had the urge while out the other day and had to wipe, like a peasant. Bidets should be a right in the kingdom.
Get a little portable bidet. They’re not ideal, but it sure beats the awful toilet paper in public bathrooms.
Wait, those exist? I might have to look into it, because I can’t install a normal bidet in my apartment (horrible Soviet era piping all over the place)
Are you saying the water supply to the tank is non standard? That’s the only piece you need to interact with. I’ve yet to see a non standard one
They’re basically a squishy water bottle… Not ideal but might be worth a try?
After the birth of my first child I ended up with a hemorrhoid. Truth be told, I was scared shitless to touch anything down there for a couple days after the trauma. They had given me a squishy bottle to rinse myself while everything recovered. Warm water from the tap was heavenly lol.
CuloClean Portable Bidet for… https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07L448T4K?ref=FuckOff
What is that ref at the end of the link?
LMAO - I haven’t seen anyone do that before. Everything after the ? is for site tracking info, so you can remove it. There was a post about it sometime in the last couple weeks that gave examples and where to chop it off to not offer more tracking info.
Just run a hose and connect one of these.
They are the right and norm in Japan.
Idk about you guys, but I typically don’t watch other people wipe their ass lol
Don’t kink shame
What if kink shaming is my kink?
Then shame on you.
I know an adult care nurse, she told me “everyone wipes their ass differently and they’re all convinced their way is the only way.”
It’s a life changing purchase.
Just wipe til the paper comes back red and you’re good.
I just do that dog thing where I hitch my legs up and use my arms to drag my ass down the hallway runner.
Meanwhile 1000 generations of Indians stare at you disgusted by your over reliance on technology.
“Technology” in this instance is “little nozzle pointed at bum” 🙃
Sorry what’s the joke here? Big parts of India has issues with sanitation
Sorry! Didnt mean to offend! Indians typically use their hands to wipe their butts with water. I think it is cleaner and uses less water relatively. The joke I intended to make was that India has been using water to wash themselves for several years whereas the west needed the invention of a bidet to force the change.
I always feel like somebody’s watching me
And I have no privacy…
can’t believe david tennant’s husband was the head of one of the largest and most power vampires in the world and david tennant was a vampire expert.
Pff If it it’s extra funky I just spread my cheecks and do a good-morning in the shower
“Wipers watching bidet users spray their nasty all over.” Two sides of the same coin if you ask me. The happy medium is the dry wipe followed by the wet wipe then another dry.
Do you reach down and dip the toilet paper into the water to get it wet?
God no! lmao that’s almost as bad as that podcast guy that admitted he’d catch his own poop and gently drop it in the toilet so it doesn’t splash.
You can get plumbing-safe wet wipes (baby wipes, basically). They work perfectly well.
plumbing-safe wet wipes
That’s usually a lie. But as long as it’s a rent house, it’s fine.
catch
What the actual fuck
Oh, you haven’t seen it? I apologize in advance for ruining your day.
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.
We had them and then moved to a new place with solid metal lines going to the toilet so I couldn’t reinstall our bidets. I lived in luxury for years only to have it snatched away… Don’t take your bidet for granted people.
Does your toilet’s water line have connectors on either side, or is it just straight from the wall to the toilet? If the latter, you really need to talk to a plumber, but the former can be solved by just getting a new hose line.
Imagine caring about how anyone else (aside for your intimate partner and/or possibly someone you care for) cleans their own asshole… 🤯
It’s hard not to care when you can smell them, but tbf that says more about the individual and not what toilet attachments they may or may not use.
Imagine getting a toilet to piss on your arsehole and feeling smug about it.
^ this guy walks around with shit on his ass.
Imagine cramming shit up your asshole then smearing the rest around your bunghole and then being mad that others don’t
I’ll have you know some people pay good money for that.
Found the guy who’s never used a bidet.
Imagine smearing shit all over your ass and feeling clean. If human shit fell on your floor, would you wipe it a few times with dry paper and say “good enough” or bring out a disinfectant spray?
Neither dry paper nor a stream of warm water is going to clean human shit off. If you aren’t using soap and some sort of scrubbing action, it still smells like shit.
Pre-shower poopers unite!
So either you scrub your asshole with bleach, always have a shower available, or smear with paper… yeah that’s the choice
Wet wipes, one of those foam wheel cleaners that goes on a drill, the neighbors dog. Your imagination is the limit.
Now now… It pisses on your ass, splatters your ballsack, and THEN you smear WET shit all around just like every toilet paper peasant you look down on.
And I have a bidet… but I don’t strongly prefer it.
You have a sewage backup, not a bidet, apparently.
Every bidet I’ve ever used is like this. They’re just as dirty as dry wiping, just in a different way. Like, sure; with a bidet you end up with a cleaner ass after wiping yourself dry, but you can get the same result with a wet wipe but with less collateral spray damage to your cheeks and legs (and balls if you’re a dude).
As someone that had a fancy bidet and returned it my main selling point was “reduce tp” during covid. It just didn’t work with its fan blowing, I still had to use tp to dry my ass afterwards ans to thr people that say, “just use a towel” like wtf then you have a shit ass stinking towel next to you in the bathroom. Especially so since I wash my towels after a use. Point is the heated swat is goated, the wet ass and weat fan dry function is no and they aren’t for me. I will scape my ass with tp will Sahara dry.
Well yeah, you have to pat dry. But you still get cleaner and use way less tp (this may vary on how much fiber you have in your diet).
You wash your towels after a single use? Just so we’re clear, you’re supposed to wash yourself before you use the towel… they shouldn’t be that dirty… right?
Yeah I don’t think they fully understand the steps to using a bidet if they’re worried about towels covered in shit…
Your towel is still going to have shit germs on it, you’re just not going to see them.
The point of bidet is to clean your butthole, not reducing tp use. Even so, wipe away water is significantly easier and less tp use than wipe away any trace of poop.
