Probably Wayne Gretzky? I don’t even know anything about ice hockey and I know he’s supposed to be the most dominant player of any sport. Like he and his brother have the record for highest combined goals of any pair of brothers: 2,857 by Wayne, 4 by Brent. If you take away all his goals, he’d be the highest scoring player of all time on assists alone. There have been 13 times when a player has scored over 100 goals in a season in NHL history: Lemieux (once), Orr (once), and Gretzy (eleven times in a row). He retired last century and still holds 57 records. I’m not gonna keep picking out examples but there’s a bunch more facts like this that sound like the old “chuck norris facts” meme but are actually true.

“If you don’t know anything about ice hockey why do you have all these facts on hand?” - I remembered seeing this kind of list before so I did a quick Google.

Edit: I’m seeing some different exact figures for some of these, but the general principle stands and I’m not invested enough in hockey facts to nail down which numbers are exactly right.

they probably fell into an empty enclosure one day and the zookeepers just rolled with it and put up a sign

Are capybaras as chill as their reputation suggests, or is that more a feature of cases that are used to captivity? If the memes/images/videos are to be believed, I’d expect to be able to just wander up to one in the wild and have it respond like a well-socialized pet dog.

I also played disco elysium for the first time this year, and it would be my answer too.

mr evrart helped me find my gun

When googling to find out what a word means, try adding “define” to your search. When I Google “define offsite” it works as intended.

Buying sold software.

Well you can start here, then spend a few decades reading and thinking about it, and get back to us when you’ve figured it out

because they do not wish to be clobbered

It’s a fictional diary entry, from The Prestige. The next entry is 2 months later, when he’s fallen in love with a different woman.

Stolen

You mean stashed in your mental cheek pouches.

Running for office and voting are unrelated things with separate criteria. You can be president if you are a natural born citizen over 35 who has lived in the US for at least 14 years.

You might have been thinking that losing voting rights entails losing citizenship, but that is not the case.

But Larry, you don’t have any hair. Why do you need a hairbrus–auuugh bears why are there bears

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I was curious as to what this implies, so I did some quick/superficial googling. The page in the OP has a Yes next to Intent To Use - this appears to mean they have a good faith intention to make commercial use of the trademark within the next 6 months. If for whatever reason they could not make use of it within that time, they can file extension requests indicating good cause for being unable to do so, for six months at a time, up to 5 times. So, OpenAI ostensibly intends to make available a commercial product named GPT5 within the next 6 months (or up to 36 if there are unforeseen delays). So, probably before mid-january.

I welcome corrections from people with actual knowledge, I just did some quick googling because I was curious and thought I might as well share what I found.

I think xeelee’s joke might have been that you have no idea what the inside of a car’s engine looks like, and are therefore a cartoonist