This is ultimately a big part of it, and it’s universal, not just in dating. Most friendships are “friendships of convenience” and the other types of relationships typically progress from there. But in western culture, we don’t have any third places, and so we just plain don’t make friendships of convenience anymore.
I’ve found several long term relationships off tinder as a WLW. It seems to work pretty well for me. The system doesn’t seem to be working for guys, and that’s unfortunate. But a lot of the pressure on women to settle for any man has gone away as women have become more self reliant. The whole thing has become far more consensual and less mandatory for survival. That’s going to influence men’s dating success no matter what medium people use to find matches.
I used to smoke. Roommate and i quit at the same time and kept each other honest. It worked out really well and we’re both still grateful to each other a decade later.
Discord is where i went. It’s annoying that it’s less indexable, but that’s also protected it from malicious advertising.
Here in the Pacific Northwest, the vast majority of people under 50 seem to be in polyamorous relationships. I’m fairly new to poly, but I’ve done a lot of reading and therapy, and it’s working out pretty well for me.
I do tend to be people’s anchor partner, so I’ve admittedly never experienced the pain that comes from being a secondary when you wish you were a primary. My anchor partner tends more towards relationship anarchy and doesn’t like hierarchical relationships, but i made it clear that my expectation is to be the priority in her life. We’ve made it work, although it takes a lot of communication.
Real talk, how do you make (non-romantic) friends as an adult? I only have 3 close friends and all 3 of us are fucking 😐
They most certainly do care. They’ve been trying to solve this problem since before occupy. The playbook back then was to plant people to give everyone second hand embarrassment and discredit movements, and it largely hasn’t changed. Billionaires spend a lot of time thinking about the guillotine.
Probably it’s more the former reason. I used to curate my experience on reddit carefully and mainly participate woman centric subreddits, and few male centric ones, and I got used to that. Lemmy looks more like what would happen if you browse default subs on reddit, which tend to be very toxic. It’s a chicken and egg problem: you won’t attract women unless there are spaces women feel comfortable, and those spaces don’t exist unless there are women there to create them.
I still find myself going back to reddit for certain niche fashion or fitness things. And when i try to get my normie girlfriends to look at lemmy, it’s hard to sell them on it. They don’t care about politics or mod drama and reddit is still better for them.
Lemmy is super uncomfy for women right now. The women i know are either still on reddit or just gave up on social media altogether.
You have no idea what you’re talking about. It’s easy to say “things could never possibly be that bad” when you haven’t experienced it. I hope you never do. I’m guessing you’re a white man between 20-40, and while life hasn’t always been easy, the social contract has mostly held for you.
This is obviously a “social media manager” generating “engagement”. And look at that, it works.
That’s the thing that has always driven me crazy about our way of speaking about these things. Politicians say “we created x jobs” like it’s something to optimize for. People fear automation because it takes away their livelihoods. But, automating work and eliminating jobs should make people’s lives… better? Why doesn’t it actually? Where did the wires get crossed?
Why did we incentivize making humans suffer, at a grand societal level? Are we insane?
Not implying, just saying it. What do you think SW means?
This is normal in the United States and has been for a long time. When i was a homeless LGBT teenager trying to survive, i went to a temp agency trying to make a living some other way than SW. They sent me to this warehouse where a bunch of felons and ESL people were working in some of the most inhumane conditions i had ever seen before. 12 hour days in a 110 degree warehouse working with toxic industrial chemicals that we had no information on, with a bare minimum of PPE, intense physical labor moving large stacks of equipment, and one break at the 6 hour mark to drink water. Most of the people there had been there a while. They just had this quiet resignation and determination to survive.
I didn’t even last a single day. I started to feel heat stroke coming on around the 8 hour mark. Shivering, no more sweat, everything started to feel distant and confusing. I tried to go get water and they wouldn’t let me, so i threw all my equipment on the ground and stumbled outside to find water, and never went back. I’m white, trans, and feminine enough to survive other ways, but most of those people didn’t have any other options.
Fuck this monstrous place. I’ve been radicalized ever since seeing things like that.
Others have touched on this, but ultimately the most vital trait a person can possess is perseverance and a bias for action. I would gladly work with a mediocre person who works relentlessly at improving their skills and figuring out solutions. I don’t enjoy working with “gifted” people who have plenty of ideas and few actions to show for it. Intelligence can make you risk averse, and you’re useless if you’re too afraid to take any action.
Tbh all i saw when i joined lemmy was baby trans spaces and i blocked all of those 😐
It also has a very clear male bias, significantly more so than reddit used to.
That was my immediate thought. This is obviously the output of an LLM.
Prompt: “list the ways the 1% (or the most affluent and powerful segment of society) is actively preventing true ownership of the things we buy”