Reduce first but have attainable goals. Go easy and steady.

For some folks cold Turkey works best but it might not be for you.

Most importantly, find a reason that’s really important to you.

Maybe try sports - something measurable. It easier to tell yourself no after a cardio as you realise how it ruins what you just achieved.

What is it and why?

Gold

That’s a great rule “three before me” - worth noting down!

Don’t forget about the number one - you!

But in this case, I feel it might be positive for both sides. Just don’t do something purely for the sake of others if you don’t feel it makes you happy as well. It’s unhealthy and unsustainable.

Not 100% true. Some people are more egocentric, like us, but they never look out for any other way of being. These people, will talk and talk and talk for hours, unprompted. Nobody asks them, because they will talk anyway.

You, my friend, made a step forward to becoming a better conversationalist. You asked us for our opinion. Make a change if you feel it will make a positive impact on your life. Observe how your family and friends respond :)

Start small!

I had a similar issue and two things helped.

1. I once heard that people like to talk more than listen (which was true for me). In addition, a great conversationalist is a person that ask and listens - not the loud, funny outspoken one. People will have a laugh and will listen to you for a little while, but will eventually get bored because they didn’t have an opportunity to participate themselves. So what I started doing now is asking a lot of questions, even if I’m not 100% genuinely interested in the answer, but eventually the other person will say something that will bring us closer together and will give us something to talk about. The second rule of this game, is to try as hard as possible not to say anything unless asked. This is the hard part :D But once you catch yourselves giving opinions/story telling unprompted - stop - back to asking questions.

You wouldn’t believe how much it changed my life. I used to be extremely nervous about going out 1v1 even with my close friends, out of fear of “What are we going to talk about?”“What if there is going to be an awkward silence” etc. Now I thrive and I love hearing from people, what’s new in their lives and so on. And I noticed people like to talk to me a lot more too!

2. Realise that “opinions are like assholes - everyone has got one” - and this works in two ways. Respect that your opinion is not definite and final - listen and maybe somebody will say something that will make you revaluate your “truths”. Learn. That’s the only way to grow. Also, don’t give opinion unless asked - sometimes people just need to vent. Not always you need to be there to fix things or correct them.

Just be respectful, wait for your time when called upon and enjoy the conversation. You know your opinions - by saying them out loud you just repeat what you already know. It’s time to find out what other people are thinking :)

100% agree - but when did she say that?

Are you trying to imply I’m a nazi apologist for simply refusing to punish anyone for the crime they did not commit?

What if you grandfather was a rapist - would you find it necessary for yourself to go around, admit that your grandfather was a rapist, apologies for this and suffer consequences?

Anyone who worked for or supported Nazis should suffer the consequences. She did not.

This is just ridiculous - prosecuting Yaroslavl Hunka makes sense, as he himself was a part of a nazzi military outpost.

Prosecuting or using it as a political tool against Chrystia Freeland makes absolutely no sense as it was her grandfather (!) who was at involved in the nazzi business.

Blame granddaughter for grandfather’s sins…

I don’t know what’s going on politically in Canada, but this is just pathetic in my opinion.

Edit:

Michael Chomiak, Freeland’s maternal grandfather whom she’s repeatedly cited as a political inspiration

The link to her essay mentions her grandfather a couple of times, but never “cites as a political inspiration”. Just to give a historical context.

Terrible piece of journalism

Default macos archiver - Keka if I have any issues

What I meant is a retiree crisis. You have been working for 40/50 odd years, and all of a sudden you loose the one thing that gave structure to your life.

What is it?

Power. And need to feel useful.

I think you took it too far.

I won’t agree with you, and I don’t think there is anything positive you want to share.

If somebody is forced (!) to dress in a specific way, that’s wrong. But if somebody chooses (!) to wear them for religious reasons, who am I to judge that?

My point is, there is nothing inherently wrong with burkinis - the context in which some individuals are wearing them might be wrong.

I 100% agree with you, that nobody should be forced to wear something that they don’t want to.

Saying burkinis are dumb is a really dumb thing to say.

For some bucket hats are dumb, but some people wear them. Not your place to judge. Also, it allows people of certain believes to have an equal access to commodities like going to a beach and go for a swim in a public.

In this regards, I would say, they are pretty smart.

Its not that - throwing out a wedding party on a cheap, doesn’t really change anything. You and your partner wanting just the two of you and the closest people to be there, and the rest doesn’t really matter - that’s the core and some sort of indications that you are with right person. The more you are wanting/needing to be there for show, the more it says about your relationship in not exactly positive way.

Don’t get me wrong - if you always pictured yourself getting to the venue on an elephant surrounded by royal guards with fireworks in the background and you can afford it - good on you, go for it.

But later in life you might realized that the most important thing was not all the extra stuff, but you and your beloved. Nothing can compensate for that.

Also people taking loans and letting their families sponsor the excessive wedding to me is a bit silly. If you can’t afford it, don’t do it like that. This money can better spent on holidays or as a down payment for your first house. Its just one night ffs 😁

Everybody bringing their pet in a corporate environment with lots of employees sounds like a nightmare. But I work at a small company and one of my colleagues used to bring their sausage dog to work, and everyone loved it

Nah, I would keep the treasures for myself 😁