• whatisallthis@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Bidet attachments for your toilet are about $30 and you can install it yourself with zero skills in 30 minutes.

    Wouldn’t you pay $30 to never have to wipe shit again? Just dry off and that’s it. Greatest thing imaginable.

      • Pinkletits@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        I’m not sure about EU specific but I’m currently using a Tushy brand bidet and it’s extremely simple and wonderful and their website and manuals are full of shitty puns! Also, consider one with a feminine setting as I’ve heard they’re extra helpful.

        • HoustonHenry@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Also, don’t bother with heated bidets - unless you have to worry about the device freezing. My parents installed one in an older house and it would draw quite a bit of power, the lights would noticeably flicker lol

        • new_acct_who_dis@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          I’ve bought so many from them! I have multiple bathrooms, we upgraded once, given them as gifts, and sneaky installed one at a family members vacation house!

    • lemmefixdat4u@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      If you aim the bidet stream just right, you can also give yourself a mini-enema for an extra clean feeling that lasts all day. And bear down a bit when you wash. It causes the anus to relax, helping to get the bits that get stuck in the folds. The only folks who need to be careful are hemorrhoid sufferers. If you hit an bleeding 'roid with the stream, it’s butt-clenching painful. Use the gentle spray setting on those bad 'roid days.

      • MrShankles@reddthat.com
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        1 year ago

        You speak truth that most are afraid to admit. My butthole is clean though and my hemorrhoid much more tame since forgoing the rough paper wiping. Also, it can help speed up the “endless poop” feelings that can happen on a bad stomach day, cause you know you’re empty (for now)

        People rep bidets all the time, but I don’t see many repping the detailed nuances of why the’re the shit

    • Knightfall@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      I know it’s ignorant, but all I can imagine when using a bidet for the first time is shooting my corn hole with a jet of cold water, not knowing how clean it is back there, and using a towel to dry off only to find watered down shit on the towel.

      • Mlemm@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        I was reluctant to get a bidet because I couldn’t hook it up to a warm water line, and was pleasantly surprised when I realized buttholes really aren’t that temperature sensitive. Even in the dead of winter, cold well water shot straight up the butthole doesn’t feel cold or shocking at all. Probably impossible to believe unless you try it yourself.

        Also, don’t be a monster and dry your butthole with a towel. Just use a little bit of toilet paper so if you’re still dirty, it’s okay. It’s not like your whole rear-end gets soaked, it’s a very thin steam of water that targets just your butthole, with maybe a tiny bit of spray on the surrounding area

      • EssentialCoffee@midwest.social
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        1 year ago

        It’s only surprising or strange the first time. If you aren’t acutely aware of how the water of a shower hits your skin every time you shower, then you won’t notice the bidet more than the first or second time.

    • Samus Crankpork@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      I’ve got one in my apartment unused. Our toilet’s a weird big moulded piece and I couldn’t get to the plastic bolts keeping the seat on…

      • Mic_Check_One_Two@reddthat.com
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        1 year ago

        Yeah, my last apartment had toilets that weren’t compatible. The supply hose going to the tank actually had a compression washer and went all the way through the tank before attaching to the valve. Like I couldn’t just unscrew the water hose from the bottom of the tank to tie in, because there wasn’t anything to unscrew. The hose just went straight through to the inside of the tank.

        I’ve never seen anything like it before or since. It honestly had me baffled, and I was left settling for baby wipes until I could move into my current place. And you’d best bet that during my walkthrough for my current place, I checked the toilet to see if it would work with my bidet. The leasing agent looked at me like I was crazy when I dove behind the toilet, but it’s a new checkbox on my list.

        • everett@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          I’ve read about people connecting theirs by running a hose from the sink connection to the bidet. Normally you’d only do that to get hot water into the mix, but I guess it’s also an option to get basic cold water if you’re stuck with a fussy toilet.

      • MrShankles@reddthat.com
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        1 year ago

        I did have to shave some of the plastic from mine to get the toilet lid to close naturally. Not the same situation, but they do on occasion, require a little creativity

    • Elise@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      You’ve clearly never eaten Pringles.

      Edit: I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to everyone who stumbled upon this comment and the thread that follows.

    • mister_monster@monero.town
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      1 year ago

      So, how do you bidet to squeaky clean without touching your shit covered asshole? I know Indian people run water down the small of their back with a pitcher and wash that way, with their hand. Then they wash their hand. I’d like to avoid getting shit on my hands.

      • lemmefixdat4u@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        When you’re using a bidet with the underseat nozzle, imagine you’re washing dog shit off the sidewalk, except you’re the sidewalk. You do the bidet dance - shimmy your butt side-to-side as you scoot back-to-front. Fiddle with the strength of the stream until you find what’s still comfortable, but strong enough to knock all the poop loose. The sprayer-and-hose style of bidet means you don’t have to shimmy, but you have to be a bit more careful where you aim it. Blot dry with TP. Some TP works better with a bidet because it doesn’t disintegrate as easily when wet.

        • mister_monster@monero.town
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          1 year ago

          Ok I know that I have to dry my pooper when it’s wet, I don’t know why I’m getting down voted it was a serious question, my candor is abrasive maybe? I just don’t see how you can wash your ass without touching it, and I’m looking for technique recommendations so I can use one of these things.

              • Mlemm@lemm.ee
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                1 year ago

                It does. It’s high pressure. Imagine a super soaker stream right on your butthole. It’s not some weak ass trickle of water like a water fountain or something

              • wild@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                It doesn’t. Not without being sprayed so strongly it’s really painful. Just use your hand and then wash well. You’ll be fine.

                  • MrShankles@reddthat.com
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                    1 year ago

                    It is hands free wiping, but with a spray nozzle. When I wiped with only TP, the chances of getting poop on my wrist/hand was much greater. Now it’s virtually none, and feels cleaner when you’re walking around later

    • Nix@merv.news
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      1 year ago

      I’ve read these tend to cause issues with your pipes though